Sugar is Awsome

Puzzles

2007-07-06T18:12:52Z

So, my grandparents are over visiting us from England. It's been a really hectic time so far.

We've been doing puzzles.

Now, I know that puzzles aren't normally regarded as stressful... but I bet you've never done puzzles at my house.

I come in halfway through a puzzle of five puppies in paint cans. 500 pieces. Not too tough. My mother, my brother, my sister and my grandparents are all hunched over the table, scanning the peices. I start to help out and things aren't too bad at first.

This soon changes, however, when some pieces are described as "missing".

mum - Who's got the piece with the blue on it that goes here. It's the only blue one left.
catherine - I don't know. Not over here.
chris - I don't see it.
catherine - Charlotte, what's that under your knee on the floor there?
me - huh?
catherine - SHE'S SITTING ON A PIECE!!!
grandma - Oh!
mum - Come on Charlotte!

It got much worse. Here are some more snippets:

"Who's got a green paint splot? WHOSE GOT A GREEN PAINT SPLOT!?"

"Mum! You're not even LOOKING at the pieces. Don't just sit there"

"GET YOUR ELBOW OFF THE PIECES! I CAN'T SEE THEM!"

"Who's shadow is that?"
"Oops. Sorry."
"Get it off the puzzle. I can't see!"

"Has anyone seen the other half of a blue eye?"
"We're not even on eyes, Chris!"

"I need this pie- OUCH!"
"Get your hand away!"
"Mum! Catherine hit me!"
"Stay out of her way then!"

"CHRIS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!!! LOOK AT THE SHAPE! THAT WILL NEVER FIT!!!!"

-----

It's been awesome.

the end

Day in Toronto

2007-06-03T03:35:54Z

I went to go see my bestest friend Emmy today. FINALLY got to see her new place. It's really amazingly sweet!.

Although her room is very messy and gross. Eww.

We hung out on her rooftop for hours and drew pictures in pen on the cement floors. She told me that Simon had a funny looking nose and an alien head. She then tried to prove herself by drawings pictures of my boyfriend as an alien.

Simon doesn't look like an alien. Nor does he have a funny looking nose.
I came to this conclusion after looking at several photographs and repeatedly telling Emmy how very wrong she was.

Then we went out for sushi and got the worst service ever! They kept on forgetting about our table. Even getting water became impossible.

After eating sushi, we decided that walking to her appartment would be a good idea. We waddled. And made pregnant jokes constantly. After arriving at the building, instead of waiting for the elevator, we figured going up the three flights of stairs to her floor wouldn't be so tough. We ended up taking two breaks and laughed the whole time about how pathetic we were.

I've never been that pathetic since that one time we all went to the church fair and tried to walk to Coffee Time. We met Luke at Luke's Chip Wagon and he was stoned. And we took several breaks because we were so lazy. Emmy stole letters from the roadside sign.
Do any of you guys remember that? I hope so. It was a good day.

We then layed outside in her backyard grass and watched the people on the balconies of her building. We creeped hardcore.

I had an amazing day. Even though I didn't really do anything at all.

P.S.- I bet Simon's going to forget our 6 month tomorrow. Any money.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2007-01-20T18:35:00

2007-01-21T00:14:38Z

Wow. Good past few days!

Emmy randomly decided to turn up in Oshawa for the night. So she came over to my house and I gave her half of my dinner because my parents didn't know she was coming. Neither did I. But it's okay.
While at the table, Emmy though it would be appropriate to bring up Simon... which it wasn't.
"So Charlotte, how are things with you and Simon?"
(Complete and utter silence)
"How's Simon doing Charlotte?"
"He's fine."
(More silence)

After dinner, we had a giant foam fight. Emmy was being lazy and not helping to clean up after dinner. Instead, she was reading the paper. So, I tore the paper out of her hands and threw it to the floor. Then I kicked it. Then Emmy slapped me. Then I punched her glasses off. Then she threw bubbles in my face. And then I rubbed bubbles in her hair. Then she ran into my bathroom and forgot to lock both of the bathroom doors... so while she was baracading one of them, I jumped through the other one and bubbled her in the face some more.

Then we walked up to Timmy's. Here are some walking and talking highlights:
"You didn't tell me there was a hill, Charlotte."
"Where's the Timmy's, man?"
"Oh.... I forgot how far away it was"
"I'm practically an orphan mmuuurrrr ggggrruruuuu ffuuuhhh raking it in."
"So, I'm going to get a pap smear next month"
"We have go go past a graveyard?!?"
"We're like.... the bestest friends ever, aren't we? No one's even close to us."

I then took her home, where she discovered she had left her iPod back at my house. She we made plans for her to visit me during art the next day at school.

The next day at school, I was sent down to the old abandoned art classroom to paint a giant metal bird with Tremclad. The paint required a breathing aparatus, but McLaughing doesn't have anything like that. So I just had to deal with it. I found Jenna and got her to help me out. While cleaning the brushes at the end of the day, I walk past a cart with a whole bunch of floating dead animals in jars. Right in the middle of the art class.
I immediately call Jenna over and we look at them.
Then we discovered that Tremclad doesn't come off your hands or brushes very easily. Jenna and I left white hand prints everywhere.
We then ran into the bathroom to try and clean it off in there... as if a different sink would help or something. It was at the time that Emmy turned up to find the room completely empty, except for my purse, which she opened up and rumaged through in order to get her iPod.
We met her on our way out of the bathroom though.

I then dragged her into the art room and showed her the floating animals. We then posed and took several pictures with said animals. Good times.

Eventually, Jenna Emmy and I all made it back to the real art room, where we informed Mrs. Siksna of the fact that the paint would not come off. She got us some grease soap. It didn't work. She then got out this suspicious looking bottle of clear liquid.
"Here girls, use this."
"Are you sure? There's a poison sign on it"
"Just don't eat it or anything and you'll be fine."
"What if I chew my nails"
"DON'T chew your nails after using this."
"I'm not putting my hands in that" (<-Jenna)
"Fine then. When you get home you can use your own paint thinner."
"Wait.... this is paint thinner?!?" (Fingers are being dipped into the solution)

Good times.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2007-01-18T14:33:00

2007-01-18T19:54:52Z

Starbucks now owns my life. I promised myself I would never become addicted to it. I used to laugh at people who were addicted.

Now I am one of them.

It's shameful. And I'm disgusted.
I've been almost denying it for the past few weeks. I would tell myself that I would cut down. Tell myself I can stop.

But I can't.

"Hi, I'm Charlotte and I'm an addict."

It's gotten so bad, that if I don't get my Peppermint Mocha, I get cranky. Like... Today, I was at the mall and I willed myself into not buying a Starbucks.
I didn't buy one. Instead I got some Miso soup from the new sushi place in the Oshawa Centre.

Now, it's four hours later and I'm practically dying. You may think I'm overreacting. Right now, I'm waiting for my kettle to boil so that I can mix up some instant coffee, some hot chocolate and some peppermint extract to make my own Peppermint Mocha. THAT'S how bad it is.

I mean.... my need for the mocha is outranking tea right now.

That's right guys... tea.

Oh the bright side, at least this drink won't cost me 4.45$

It probably won't taste as good though.

Fuck, I'm weak.

The end.

P.S. - Oh goodness me. I just drank some of my homemade peppermint mocha. Starbucks coffee cups should read: CAUTION! Do not try this at home. Fuck... this drink is awful.
I'm going to drink it anyways....

I hate myself.

orange_soda_101 @ 2007-01-09T19:36:00

2007-01-10T00:55:01Z

Okay, so wow. My life right now... pretty insane.

A few days ago, I announce to my parents that I would no longer be eating processed meats. I said that I only wanted real meat... cooked good and proper, for the rest of my life. This shan't be hard for me because I hate sandwich meats and Spam and Corned Beef. They're horrible. And hotdogs too. Giving up Pogos is going to be tough... but I'll manage.

Anyways, so my dad tells me that it won't be a problem because he just happened to have purchased half a cow that very day.

Okay. Whatever. He said it in such a way that you'd assume he was joking, simply because the statement was ridiculous.

Well, he wasn't kidding.

He comes home early today and shouts at me to unload the entire freezer. So, having no idea why he's asking me to do this, I go and unload the downstairs freezer. Then my dad walks in, carrying two garbage bags full of chopped up cow. And I'm all like, "I don't think this is going to fit, dad." And he's all like, "Well, you better hope it does, because there's more."

By then end of it, we had three bags of different steak and roast cuts, a bag full of tubes of ground beef, another bag full of cow ribs for the dog, and a cardboard box full of bones (Including a giant cow pelvis.) Keep in mind, I'm not talking shopping bags here. I'm talking garbage bag size.

We now have over 500$ worth of cow in our freezer. And I was right... it didn't all fit. We had to put some in the upstairs fridge freezer and move the regular groceries downstairs into the little bar fridge.

One of my dad's comments: "I think I shall have to buy a bigger freezer"

I bet you in a few days, I'll be writing an update on how I had to help my dad carry a new, bigger freezer down the stairs and into my laundry room. Not to mention the adventures we'll have trying to get the old one out of the house, into the truck and hurled into a vat at the dump.

I had to pick up pieces of frozen cow spine and seal them in individual containers. I could see the cow vertabrae.

I'm surprised this hasn't turned me into a raging vegetarian.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-12-10T10:00:00

2006-12-10T16:00:12Z

Waaah! So I'm at Emmy's right now. It's Sunday morning and we got incredibly high last night. I've never been so messed up. We bought McChickens ahead of time, along with a bag of chips and a packet of brownies. We ate it all. Four McChickens, a bag of chips and about twenty brownies. Man.
Then we chilled out and watched the Katamari video game intro in a loop for honestly half an hour.
Then we watched Life Aquatic.
Good times.
I can't remember too too much of the night.  I got mad at Emmy for not letting me have the joint at one point. Then I remember sitting on Emmy's bed and complaining about how hard it was for me to chew my food. I couldn't understand the movie all that well, and eventually just gave up on it entirely.
For those of you how are unfamiliar with the Katamari video game.... here's a picture:

Just amazing!
the end

Part 2 - Written by Emily

Don't believe what Charlotte says
I was not hogging the joint, we were happily smoking up outside my window, sitting on the back of some random construction vehicle.
3 hits, then pass
It was sweet, and I was getting fucked. We kept laughing uncontrollably.
Charlotte finished her hits, gave the joint to me and told me she was done.
I took like a half drag and was all "are you sure"
she pauses, looks at me and goes "um, maybe one more"
Me - Ok, let me just finish my.."
the dots are to show that she interrupted me
Charlotte "JUST ONE MORE"
she *glares at me and like snatches the joint back
so really she is crazy when she smokes

I would also like to expand on the intro to katamari
We watched this shit for half an hour.
First there is this crazy scene with fucked up colors and shit.
Here is a link to it:

" class="ljvideo">
Note how in one point in the video, there are objects that are pretty similar to marijuana leaves spinning in the air as mushrooms grow everywhere.
LOL
Seriously watch this shit, it is messed up.
Especially when you are high.
That finished and we watched a loop of:
1. the little dude would sit on top of earth and flap his arms for... oh about 2/3 minutes
2. it would switch to a video of someone playing the game and picking stuff up
3. back to the dude flapping

THis is the last level sped up 10x.
Even if you dont watch it go to the end to see the messed up cut scenes

" class="ljvideo">

Eeeeek!

2006-10-24T21:54:13Z

So. It's the weekend, right? And I'm just chillin'. Annie is supposed to be hanging out with Catherine. Whatevs. I don't care. I had just finished making my amazing pirate costume for the Hallowe'en party. So, what do I do? The logical thing. I try it on.

I like it.

It looks amazing.

Whatevs.

So I'm down at the computer typing something or whatever and the door bell rings. "It's probably Annie," I think.

I'm still dressed as a pirate by the way.

Catherine answers the door. "It's for you, Charlotte!" she yells. So I figure it's Emmy. She's the only person brave enough to visit my house.

"Emmy!" I say, "I'm dressed up as a pirate right now!"

"Charlotte!" yells Catherine, "It's not Emily!"

I'm all like, "Well who is it then?"

"It's Gabe."

Gabe lives in Toronto. Gabe is supposed to be OVER me. He didn't even call. He lives in Toronto!

"Gabe." I say, "I'm in a pirate costume right now."

His response, "Don't you wear anything normal? How long have you been dressed like that?" (Two hours)

Oh well... I may have been in a stunning pirate costume, but it beats my bathing suit any day.

Is any day in my life going to be normal? Ever?

the end

Mah! Best night ever!

2006-10-23T22:07:17Z

I hung out with Emmy on Saturday night. I was only over for about an hour and a half, but during that time we came up with the most brilliant concept ever to be created.
I was like "I'm going to make a company to rival General Motors. I'll call it... General Bikes."
That's how it started.
We then elaborated on this concept. To the point where I was in a business partnership with Gabe (you remember Gabe - see previous entries) General Bikes then turned into Gabe British Girl General Bikes.

We then came up with this wonderful idea for a commercial. It would feature a bike, pedaling across Canada and jumping across the ocean to land in England. In midair, the bike would explode into raindows and be hit by silver bolts of lightening. Someone would be saying "Gabe British Girl General Bikes" and then someone would shout "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!". It would be at this moment that the bike would explode into rainbows.

This scene would end, and the final shot would be of a bike, standing alone in a spotlight in a black room, still sizzlin' from the electricity. Then someone would whisper, "Solid as a Pipe" and then someone would scream "Touchstoooone!"

It would be amazing.
Why rainbows? Because of the most amazing video game on the planet, Katamari. In it, you are an alien who rolls a big ball around Earth and collects things to make into stars. Things like... lipstick, magnets, lawn gnomes, people, boats, appartement buildings, giant squids. Whatever. (It's Japanese)

The rainbows are a tribute to this game:

Wow. Just wow.

So, I drew a picture of General Bikes. Look at it!

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=9318156&imageID=1328870915

I showed this picture to my mother. "I don't get the lightning." she says. She pauses. "Actually, Charlotte, I don't get anything at all."

Best ever.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-09-04T06:54:00

2006-09-04T13:21:43Z

Yesterday, my parents and I moved Emily into her residence at Victoria College. We picked Emmy up at her house and loaded up the truck without saying a word to her parents. Her parents, instead of asking Emmy to call demanded that I should call them. What the fuck? We then left within five minutes of arriving at the house.
After repeatedly making fun of the 20 step Mapquest instructions on how to get to the college, we arrived.
The campus is gorgious. My parents helped move all the boxes and then left. Emily and I then unpacked everything.
Her dorm room is huge. Kitchen, living room, three bedrooms and two bathrooms. There's even a sofa, a dining table, fridge, stove and microwave. I was impressed.

I bought Emmy some bamboo. Everyone loves bamboo. It's a must have housewarming present. Emily wasn't too sure of it until we got to U of T and there were people walking around with pots of bamboo.

We then went out for sushi. It was the most confusing meal ever. They gave us sauce. We didn't know what sauce it was. It wasn't soy.  We're pretty sure it wasn't terriaki. We just poured it on our rice when no one was looking so they couldn't yell at us... either for not eating it or not using it properly. We then recieved some sort of fried-but-not-really-fried things. Some of them were shrimp. Emmy picked up what looked to be a fried potato. It wasn't. It was bright purple underneath all the batter.

We got back to Emmy's appartment and found that her roommate had also moved in. She wasn't around anywhere, but we noted that she also had a bamboo plant.
I think Emmy is now happy that she fits in. Bamboo has helped her social life.

We hooked up the playstation and played Resident Evil. It was pathetic. Emmy couldn'y even run and I couldn't even kill more than three zombies without dying. Rough time.

Patricia, the roommate then shows up. She passes the bestfriend test. She's really nice and gets along with Emily great. Or... at least it seemed that way for the hour that the three of us were talking.

Emmy walked me to Union when it was time for me to go. Got on the train where some freaky guy kept looking at me. It hurt to sit down because my new belly button ring was stinging.
On the Go bus to Oshawa, the bus driver forgot to close the cargo doors. So as we rounded a corner, all the bags fell out. I was the only one who saw this, so I screamed "You're losing bags!"
This caused everyone on the bus to stare at me like I was crazy. So I explained, "The doors are OPEN! The bags are falling out!"

The bus driver then stopped the bus and I was hero to all people with bags.

Pretty sweet day.

the end.

P.S.- Funny story about what happened when I got my belly button pierced on Saturday:
I was wearing my new fuzzy sweater and the piercer is like, "Lift up your shirt." I do. There's fuzz from my sweater in my belly button. I'm like, "Wow, embarassing. I have lint."
The fuzz is then wiped away and the belly is pierced. The piercer then says, "Hey.  You're not bleeding at all." To which I respond, "No, the lint absorbed it all."

I make belly lint cool.

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-08-03T09:33:00

2006-08-03T15:51:24Z

The past few days have been pretty sweet.

Emmy and I hung out and went to go see Jonh Tucker Must Die. It was pretty funny. Although the highlighs of the evening had nothing to do with the movie itself, but the trailers and advertisements before it. Mainly the Snakes on a Plane trailer. (Looks increadibly cheesy. Can't wait for the 18th!)

Plus, my friend Erin has just moved into her new appartment. I helped her move. It was disgustingly hot.

Erin bought some extra fans and Lucia and I spent forever setting them up. The instructions made next to no sense. The only reason we actually managed to get them up and running is because the guy who came to set up her telephone had screwdrivers we were able to borrow. Up until that point we were using my hairpin. No joke.

Erin, her boyfriend and I then went out for dinner at Eastside Mario's. Without the Italian Lucia. Makes sense. After dinner we went to Dollarama for all Erin's household needs. Erin also broke her shoe and we had to tape it.
("Hey, Erin, you should get an orange stick!")
("Oh my God, it's Jesus.")

Then we picked up Lucia and went to A & P for food. That took over an hour. We had to look at everything and argue about what food was best every four minutes.

Lucia, Erin and I then slept at the appartment after watching Win a Date with Tad Hamilton.

And for those of you who are from T.R and Gertrude Colpus, yeah... it's the same Lucia.

Pretty sweet week, like I said.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-07-10T05:47:00

2006-07-10T12:13:08Z

This weekend has been pretty sweet. I took my little brother and sister and a couple of my brothers friends to go see Pirates of the Caribbean on Saturday. Except... when we got to AMC 45 minutes early for the show, we discovered it was sold out.
So I took them to go see Cars instead. Which I thoroughly enjoyed. (Ka Chow!)
Emmy called me up last night with the hopes of seeing Pirates of the Caribbean. So we headed down and got in this time. It was sweet. It got a tonne of horrible reviews, but I couldn't find anything wrong with it.
Tonight, my mum and I are going to see The Devil Wears Prada, because I loved that book. Hopefully it'll stick close to the book. Or else.

So, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to see Snakes on a Plane the day it comes out.  ("Get these mother fuckin' snakes off my mother fuckin' plane!") I can't wait.

Next week my parents are kidnapping me and taking me up to the cottage that's not ours because we're foreign. You can expect some updates to come out of that. Maybe.

Oh my goodness. Best day at work ever:
So, at Staples, when we get broken computer merchandise, we can't just throw it in the dumpster because, believe it or not, people root through it and fish stuff out to get the return money. So... what the employees have to do every now and then is make sure that return fraud doesn't happen.
We do this by smashing the computers.
So... I walk into the back of the store and Lisa's there and she has this printer in her hands over her head. Then she wails it at the floor.  I'm all shocked and afraid. She sees me and explains that she's allowed to do it. She then hands me a camera dock and is like "Your turn."
So I hurl it to the ground and it smashes. But Lisa's like "That's not good enough." She then hands me a huge wooden stick.
So I bashed its little microchip brains in.

I don't know if any of you have watched Office Space, but when they were beating on the fax machine... Yeah. That was like me and the camera dock.

I love Staples.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-06-29T10:10:00

2006-06-29T16:25:57Z

I love summer. So far so good.
Started it off by working all weekend. Then I went paintballing on Sunday after work. I kicked ass.

I went to Wonderland with Emmy Tim and Corey on Monday. That was an adventure and a half. Got to go on everything but Vortex and Minebuster... lol.

The food there is expensive³. It's ridiculous.
I got a chicken burger with fries and a medium pop for 15$. Pretty sweet, huh?

I also treated myself to one of those Cookiewich things. That set me back another 4$.

At least I didn't spend as much as Tim and Corey did on those stupid games. They failed miserably every time and couldn't even win me my R.J. the Racoon from Over the Hedge.
Useless.

Anyways... I need to go eat or something.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-06-12T13:58:00

2006-06-12T20:27:06Z

I shall now tell you all about this boy who loves me life. His name is Gabe.

So, Gabe calls me about every other night. This started a while ago. Whatever. Didn't bother me. I thought it necessary as we were going to eachother's proms. (As friends. I told him this often.)

Recently, he has gotten worse.

I get home from school. My dad's all like, "Charlie, vacuum the pool." So I do. But it's hot. So I put on my bathing suit. Vacuum the pool. Eat dinner. Do my french ISU. Go talk on MSN.

I'm talking on MSN about how Gabe loves my life, when there's a knock at the door. I don't mean the front door. I mean the glass door to the room I'm in. The room I'm sitting at the computer in, wearing my bathing suit.

It was Gabe.

My dad apparently let this boy into the house without ripping his face off. Without even telling ME he had let him in.

So I get this awkward, "Um... do you want to go for coffee?"

Coffee? At 9:30 at night? In my bathing suit?

Another story:
I'm at work dealing with a customer. Sorting out a desk purchase. Now, I work in the back part of the store. Gabe, works all the way at the other end of the store, diagonally. So he's the furthest possible distance you can get away from me.
My phone rings.
It's Gabe.
"Is that customer bothering you, Charlotte?"
"No, why?"
"Oh. I was just wondering. Because you've been talking to him for quite a while."

Okay... 1) He called me to check if I was okay. 2) He had to have been watching me because he knew I was talking to this guy for a few minutes. 3) How could he see me? The aisles are twelve feet high.

Oh boy.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-06-05T17:48:00

2006-06-05T23:54:01Z

At work yesterday, we had an egg drop contest. My egg survived the fall from the very top of the cherry picker. Good times.
There were only two eggs that made it.

I love Staples.

And I got a raise too! I now make 8.76$/hour. I got so excited.

I have to go garden now. I don't love gardening as much as I love Staples. In fact... I kind of hate it.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-03-18T21:49:00

2006-03-19T02:55:14Z

Today, I put gas in my car.

The past three times I have managed to get exactly 20.00$ in the tank.

Today it came to 20.01$.

It hurt my heart.

On a lighter note, I just came back from watching V for Vendetta.
I adored it.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-03-16T09:54:00

2006-03-16T14:59:33Z

So, remember how I was talking about the masses of DVDs my dad has?
Guess what I did yesterday.

Alphabetized

them.

Yeah.

the end

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-03-14T11:03:00

2006-03-14T16:21:13Z

Wow. So I've been sick for a while.
March break is sucking so far. Simply because I am still a bit sick.

I hung out with Emmy and Peg Leg Meg on Sunday. We went to Mr. Sub.

The guy at Mr. Sub gave me my sub and said : "Enjoy your sub".

We also went to Williams. All that we did there was watch Emmy drink a double espresso with a full cup of sugar and talk about Nicole "The Mullet" Kieszzzebrink.

I'm redecorating my room. I'm painting it teal and doing murals all over. Accept... they'll be good. Unlike the one I was forced to participate in at school. It's hideous.

I watched 'The Rock' yesterday because in Williams I saw an article on Nicolas Cage. Apparently I own it.

This takes me to my next story:
You may be aware that my daddy enjoys to buy ridiculous amounts or DVDs. If not, he does. A lot.
So much so that, in fact, this morning my sister opened up the movie closet to find Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (good movie, P.S.) only to have a stack of DVDs fall on her, crushing two of her fingers into powder.

the end.

orange_soda_101 @ 2006-01-07T19:29:00

2006-01-07T20:01:42Z

Hey. I'm back from Paris guys.

It was awesome. I had to do all the talking. My dad had no idea what was going on. I did the most touristy things you can imagine. I ate bread a lot. I drank amazing coffee.

The trip on the Eurostar was actually really boring. The London Underground is a hell of a lot better than the Metro in Paris. Every street in Paris looks the same.

The first day I went to go see the Eiffle Tower at night. They have a light show on the hour every hour. I then had roast chicken at a cafe called Chez someone-or-another. It was awesome. Then I went to bed.

The next morning, I walked 45 minutes to the Arc de Triomph. The roundabout circling it was insane. There were no lanes at all. People just drove on and honked their way off. There wasn't any accidents though, strangely enough. After that I went up the Eiffle Tower, walked back down the stairs and fought the urge to skate on the ice rink on the first floor.

I ate a whole wack load of bread. It was the best bread I've ever had. The French know how to do bread.

*Gasp! and coffee! It was sooo good. The best coffee I've ever had. Really. It was better than bread. It was better than Tim Hortons. I though my mum was joking when she said it was better than Timmy's. But then I had a cup and I drank nothing else for the next four days. I actually had a cup of coffee when I got back to England and it was the grossest thing ever. Ever.

The next day I went to Notre Dame. I was there at noon so I heard the ringing of the bells ceremony thing. The cieling is massive. It's huge. You need to see it. The city of Paris had just finished restoring the facade of the Cathedral too. So the front part was completely white stone like it was back when it was built. Amazing.

Then after Notre Dame, I went to the Louvre. I saw the Venus de Milo and the Napoleon Appartments and the Mona Lisa. There was an actual castle moat that you could walk through too. The museum is HUGE. Massive. Insane.

Um... then we went to the Moulin Rouge, found out that the cheapest cost was 200$ per person (That would total up to 1000$) and tried to persuade my dad NOT to buy us tickets. Then we ate food.

My hotel was also in the shopping district. I was three doors down from Chanel and Hugo Boss. Insanity.

So... Paris in a Nutshell:

-Everywhere was killer expensive
-Pretty much you have to speak French of they hate you. You may not realise it. But it's true.
-There are pharamacies EVERYWHERE. They all had neon green signs outside in the shape of +. Flashing. You walk down any street and you can immediately see two.
-The coffee is amazing. (But don't ask for 'cafe'. Or they give you the bad stuff. You have to ask for 'un creme')
-Pirate stuff is in. I'm talking stilletto pirate boots and those wierd coats with the fills on. Yeah. Aaarg, pirates.
-We successfully drank exactly seven bottles of wine in two nights. (Wine cost about 4 euro a bottle.) (We actuallty made friends with the owner of the shop)
- Paris is a really dirty city. Really.

the end.

Chronicles of England: 7

2006-01-02T17:09:35Z

I definately had some more pukka pie and chips today. For lunch.

Get this, it's so warm out that I had a picknik on the grounds of Newark Castle.

I also told my parents that to get home, we could cut across this field. Problem(s) was/were: it was full of mud, crazy horses, poo and, no, we couldn't get home by going through it.

My trainers are COVERED in mud and horse poo. Two horses ran up to me. I reached out to pet one. And then it's mother came and I thought it was going to eat me for touching its baby or something. Then they both stood there. So I pet them both. The horses were also covered in mud. Then one of them, I swear, looked at me with these crazy eyes. It was going to bite me. I ran away. I horses followed... running.

I nearly pissed myself.

My dad did too. Laughing.

I leave for Paris tomorrow at 5:30 in the morning. Good news is I get my hotel room all to myself.
We'll have to see how this whole Paris thing goes. Two days ago, Paris lost the 2012 Olympics to London. Their hatred of England has increased ten-fold. I've imformed my parents not to say a word unless they say it in a Canadian accent. This is humourous because they suck at it.

My sister has also refused to do anything about ordering food or booking times because she's shy. The entire trip depends on my speaking French.

We'll see how that goes.

I won't be able to update in a few days because I'll be too busy in Paris.

the end.

Chronicles of England: 6

2005-12-31T15:35:50Z

I now officially have my prom dress. After spending two hours in the shop and four hundred dollars, it's mine. For all those interested in this, it is a dark purple and is a 1920's style kind of thing. It has a trail behind it.

It makes me look thin.

There is deffinatly nothing like it in Canada.

It's New Year tonight. I get my new year five hours before you. So suck on that.
As far as a plan for the evening, I have nothing. All I know is that we're having pukka pies and chips. We also have two bottles of champagne.

Speaking of booze, I have a Bacardi in a pub last night. I love England. Nobody asked me any questions.

For you information, I am staying in the village with the highest pub count per square mile in England. No joke. And the pop here sucks. I don't think they use real sugar. It all tastes of diet. Aspertane or whatever. It's gross. I'm drinking milk, Strongbow and Bacardi. It's the only stuff I can trust.

I think that's all I have to say right now. No... it's not.

I want a pair of shoes for prom. I can't find any over here right now because of the season. It's all pirate boots. I'm not kidding. They even have the little folds at the top. Except they're stilletto pirate boots. Which makes them cool... I guess.
PLUS, I saw one girl walking with a pirate jacket on too.

Whatever... I don't decide fashion trends.

All the snow's gone now. Thank God. If I had to listen to one more report about the country being at a standstill because of half an inch of snow... I would have killed something.

Paris is all set now. Four grand down the toilet. I don't evenknow what arrondisment we're staying in. But I think it's the forth one because we're right by the Eiffle Tower. I just know nothing.

the end.

orange_soda_101 @ 2005-12-30T10:38:00

2005-12-30T10:46:29Z

So yesterday I saw the most beautiful dress ever. I want it for prom. My mum refuses to buy it for me because it's too expensive. So I have to put a couple hundred towards it first. This 'too expensive' thing coming from a woman who's just spent two thousand dollars on a train ride to Paris.

I asked my dad why we didn't take a plane, because it probably would have cost less. He said that because we took the train we could say that we had the experience of riding the Chunnel.

So there you have it guys. I get to 'ride the Chunnel'.

Charlotte's dress will be worn for more than two hours. I think that's a better value for money personally.

Whatever.

Um... it's my brother's birthday today. He's now 14.

Okay... I'm out now. I'm going to go and eat some chocolate.

This had better be the best train ride of my life.

the end

Chronicles of England: 5

2005-12-29T10:02:37Z

It's really foggy out here now. I can no longer see the half inch of snow everyone keeps blabbering about.

Yesterday, I went into Nottingham to see a pantomime. Now... this isn't like, a mime. It's a twisted play. I saw Snow White. It was nothing like the story at all. But I nearly pissed myself laughing. Twice. It was the most awesome thing I've every seen. They had this one character named Muddles (He wasn't even mentioned in the real story) and Muddles was insane. That's about it. Alos, in Pantos, the actors dress up in drag. There was this old man dressed up as a doughnut maker... woman.

Um... I'm going into Lincolnshire today. It's the closest city. Half and hour away. By train. I'm going to shop because I haven't yet.

I can't think of much else to say really.

Oh my Goodness, somewhere up north, the temperature dropped to minus 10. The whole country is panicking.

That's all really.

the end.

Chronicles of England: 4

2005-12-27T11:11:48Z

So... Um... I've decided that I will NEVER drive in this country. It's insane. One of our lanes is the exact same size as a two lane road here. Plus, everyone drives about 30 kilometres faster. Everywhere.

We were walking yesterday and this car zooms around the corner and my mum was like
"What's that car doing then?" And I was like
"The speed limit."

Half the time you're on the other side of the road because people just park in the middle of the street.

Well, today I woke up and discovered that it snowed. Half an inch.

I watched the news the morning and I've never had so much fun:
"People are being advised to stay indoors during this period of extreme cold" (It's minus 3)
"Be sure to carry extra food and drink in your car incase you get stuck in the snow." (What snow?)
"Some of the more northern regions are expecting a full 10 centimetres of snow."

I nearly spilt my sheddies everywhere.

I think that everything for now. I'm off to town today. I'm facing this dreadful snowstorm. The first shopkeeper who asks my if I'm cold is going to get a face full of laugh.

the end.

Chronicles of England: 3

2005-12-25T17:08:47Z

So... merry Christmas everyone.

Today started off and I went over to my gran's for English Christmas #1. I got lots of chocolate and perfume and the like. Then I went to my grandma's for Christmas dinner (at lunch time) and then I opened more presents for English Christmas #2. I got money and sweets and an England jersey (#9, Wayne Rooney... if you don't know who he is, google him. He's the ugliest thing you will ever see, but can he ever play. People here are estimating that he'll be bigger than David Beckham soon.)

Um... practically no one has a dishwasher over here. So I had to do the washing up for 15 people. Pretty insane. It took me an hour.

That's all I think. Now that Christmas is over I'll have some time to shop finally. It's my brothers b-day on the 30th and I haven't gotten him anything yet.

I'm soon off to go over to my uncle Jez'shouse. My Daddy's bought me 2 litres of Strongbow for tonight. (Excuse me... 2 LITRES?)

OKay, I'm going to get going. I've only had two glasses off the stuff and I want some more.

Cheers

the end

Chronicles of England: 2

2005-12-24T18:46:41Z

Okay, I wokle up today all ready and refreshed. I had one breakfast and then learned that I was going out to my Granny's for breakfast. So I got two breakfasts. (Do you see why I'm going to come back fat?) One of said breakfasts was huge. With eggs and proper bacon and sausage and tomatoes and beans. It was good.

The other one was just cereal.

I went to church today for the first time in my life. It was an experience. I sung christmas carols and ate oranges and listened. I was then told by my mother that the church we were sitting in was the very same one she got married in. It's right down the road from the house. Like... she could have walked to her own wedding kind of thing. I mean, her limo ride must have been at max.... about 30 seconds. Not kidding.

Just letting you guys all know, if you think that I'm living it up in London somewhere, you're dead wrong. I'm out in the country. Like... my parents were hicks. No joke. That's where I am now.

But it was a really nice church. It's older than any building in Canada is anyway. The history here is amazing.

I saw my cousin Lee today. He has an electronic drum set.

I also made him watch Mythbusters for the first time in his life. He obviously loves it.

I'm getting ready to smash the gingerbread house my grandma made for me. She went hardcore. It has stained-glasss windows made of candy and everything. I usually just buy a gingerbread house kit and then smash it on Christmas Eve. But tonight will be much better.

Also, because England is five hours ahead of you guys... I get Christmas first. So there.

Merry Christmas Everyone. I'll probably post tomorrow too if I can manage.

Cheers

the end